Women and porn

For many, this is too controversial. They couldn’t imagine doing it themselves, so therefore, need to shame, ridicule those who do.

As a first generation Canadian, I have struggled in my 41 years in this country.

Canadians are an apathetic, indifferent and puritan bunch. They are passive, indirect and engage in a lot of gossip and back talking. They do not like confrontation, even though they create the conflict.

They believe that it’s polite to create narratives about you behind your back, based on a smidge of anecdotal evidence, but rude if you were to confront them upon learning about their betrayal. Often, they will walk away from a friendship if it becomes clear that they will be called out on their behaviour.

When it comes to sex and sexuality, Canadians are reserved and boring. There’s an attitude that it’s ‘uncouth’ to raise the topic of sex.

There’s a lot of moral puritans in our world. Those who think that everyone else should abide by their rules. There’s a type of narcissism around them.

I am anti-marriage, really. I find it quite stifling and restrictive and I do not for the life of me understsand why anyone does it. I never understood the idea of declaring your fidelity to one person in front of family and friends. That’s so morbid.

I’m pro-sex, with whomever you choose to have it with. No one has a right to tell anyone how they should live their lives. And it saddens me how men, who want to have a lot of sex, are restricted and unhappy in marriages they don’t want to be in, for the sake of other people, or ‘society.’

Women have an infantilized, juvenile, romanticized, fairytale understanding of what it means to be in a relationship. What grown woman wants to dress up like a princess for a day? It’s truly demented if you ask me.

It’s this romanticism that drives women to like ‘bad boys.’ Because she thinks in some sick way that it will be she who will change him, whereas all the other women failed before her. And that would mean, in her eyes, that she is the love of his life. Puke.

I truly understand why most straight men my age do not want to be in a conventional relationship, or why they don’t want a girlfirend, at all. They have to adjust and make a lot of sacrifices for the sake of appearances. And most men don’t care about appearances, it’s women who do.

Again, look at their Instagram accounts. If you want to talk about embarrassing, look no further then their posts, where they attempt to convince other women how perfect their lives are.

Porn is an outlet for a lot of straight men trapped in boring, grey lives with selfish, and self-involved women.

Porn within the gay ‘community’ is quite mainstream. You’d be hard pressed to find a gay man who shuns it the way heterosexual women do.

Ladies, trust me, heterosexual men love porn too, and they love to fantasize about the women they see in porn.

This drives a lot of straight women crazy.

They like to tell anyone who listens that porn is degrading, but it isn’t. It can be, some of it for sure, but many people role play and like dominant and submissive roles. A lot of gay guys like facials! We don’t find it degrading. We just find it another avenue to express ourselves sexually.

For straight women, porn is degrading because simply put, they want to control what their boyfriends and/or husbands do.

They don’t like the idea of their man looking at a woman who is more attractive than they are, and even more, they don’t like that their man fantasizes about sticking his penis into another woman’s vagina, or mouth, or anus, even! That’s really what their problem is, and everyone knows it.

If you’re worried about your partner being attracted to someone else let me be the bearer of bad news: they are.

It’s normal to be attracted to more than one person. I consider myself polyamorous, I don’t publicize it, because people are very judgmental, but I am open to having sex with any man I find attractive. If they consent, obviously.

And let me just call straight women out on their hypocrisy. Over the years I have observed many of my straight female friends flirting and exchanging phone numbers with men, behind their husbands’ backs.

So that brings me back to porn. Adult entertainers are often ridiculed for what they do, and I find it unfair. If I was given the choice to have sex with hot men, and get paid to do it, I would. For all this talk about ‘sex workers’ I say please. If you want to have sex and get paid to do it, then good for you. Just make sure it’s what makes you happy.

To be blunt, if I was paid to suck big dicks all day long, I’d be one happy camper!

I think for a lot of pornographers it does make them happy. And it’s far safer. Adult entertainers are regularly screened for sexually transmitted infections and they are more educated than the general public around issues of sexual health.

Now cut to picking up someone at a bar or a pub whom you know nothing about. That’s far riskier, I would venture.

As a gay man, I like to watch straight porn too. Not just for the men, but I find the women quite attractive, and I enjoy their sexual appetite.

I think most people’s problem around porn is that they can’t imagine making themselves that vulnerable. They have been raised to find it shameful.

I’m right, a lot of people, on learning a friend does porn, do attempt to shame them. I’ve seen it. But then I look at the life of the shamer, and I think, I wouldn’t want that. Their lives are so binary. So one dimensional. So not for me.

Once you embrace your sexuality and your kinks, life gets a lot less scary and a lot more joyful.

We often want to ridicule what we do not understand, or what we wish we could do ourselves. Think about that the next time you’re shaming an adult entertainer.

For all the straight men out there I would like to say this: dump the bitch who not only won’t have sex with you, but who attempts to shame you into not watching porn. She’s an unhappy, control freak. It’s time to move on.

Thanks for reading.

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