The pool

Buenos Aires awaits

On January 2 I will return to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I cannot explain to you how much this means to me.

In my life I was never more happy than in the time I spent in that wonderful country.

My first trip came in July, 2011. I look at old photos from then and though I can recognize myself, I have changed quite a bit.

Then I was frightened. I was young, naive, ignorant and uncertain. Today, in part because of my experiences there, I have matured into a much different, more confident person.

Back then I was used to sacrificing and compromising what I wanted for the sake of other people.

Now I have realized that this is my one life, the only one that I will ever have, and that it is more important to focus on how I want to live, then to worry about how others want me to.

If there is one regret that I have in my life it is that I allowed others to affect how I lived. That I allowed their attempts to shame me into conformity limit how I interacted with the world. I wish sometimes that I hadn’t considered everyone else’s happiness above my own. That I had the confidence to ignore other people’s judgments. That I had listened more to my gut when I felt that a friendship was no longer well suited for me.

I am so much happier in my 40s than ever before. I am clear minded, and focused, and certain of my future. That doesn’t mean I don’t become despondent or cranky at times. But I am truly content with the person I have become. And though I may have a few less hairs on top of my head, and yes, I may have to run a little longer to stave off the weight gain, I sense that I have blossomed into a pretty fantastic human.

I can’t wait for the oppressive Argentine sun. I can’t wait for the heat. I can’t wait for the walks on cobbled streets and intricately tiled sidewalks.

My heart is soaring.

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