A Lament

On Saturday afternoon I was walking around the cottage in sadness. It was a joyous sadness. I’m really aware of what a blessed life, a fortunate life, I’ve had as an adult.

Christmas 2020 was special for me. It was probably the best Christmas of my life. We drove up from Toronto to the cottage on December 23, with all our presents, food ingredients in the trunk. Our plan was to make a homemade dinner from scratch every night. We have become obsessed gourmands.

We definitely ate far too much food, drank way too much alcohol, but had a brilliant time. I’m paying for it now considering how much weight I’ve gained! But that’s what my legs are for, right? To move.

On Christmas Eve we took our friend Paulina to the town of Lindsay and enjoyed a couple of beers inside this really nice, cozy brewery, and then drove back in the rain, which was slowly turning into snow. We made a lovely dinner, companied with handmade cocktails, beer, wine, what have you, and watched Christmas movies with the fireplace on.

When we woke on Christmas day there was snow on the ground, a blessing from the universe.

I had to take stock and really appreciate what is is that I have. Not materials, but company, and Earth. So cheesy, I know, but also, heaven right here in my little bubble.

I’m truly saddened it’s over.

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