Will gays ever give up the victim narrative?

I’m watching a television show on HBO about three drag queens who in every episode visit a small American town and transform three willing locals into drag.

It’s an entertaining show, but with a lot of leftist programming I have criticisms.

The biggest problem with We’re Here is that the cast overly-identify with their sexuality with such razor focus that it’s evident to me they have no idea who they are. You can’t go around your whole life thinking about your sexuality all the time. It’s a part of you, not all of you.

But then again I believe they hold so tightly to this identity because they feel isolated. There’s a perception that everyone else, meaning straights, are scandalized by their sexuality. I don’t know, I’d pay no attention to them, personally, and live my life.

I never came out of the closet, in a time when that was a thing to do. I simply lived my life. I didn’t need anyone’s acceptance or approval, I only needed my own. My thought was that straight people didn’t have to explain themselves to me so why should I explain myself to them?

I had people in my life at the time who told me I should tell my parents and I was like, no. Or that I should tell my close friends and I was like, no. They’ll know when I am involved in a relationship and even then, I’m not seeking their approval. I don’t need it.

It was such a boring subject and though I played a victim role sometimes, as is typical in gay culture, when I stopped doing that, my life got better. As soon as you stop wallowing in self-pity and take responsibility for your own happiness and know it’s all up to you, you’re good!

I think too many get caught up with trying to get others to accept them. Fuck that. If they don’t, move on, they’re not for you. Life is too short trying to convince others. This is a lesson I’ve learned & constantly remind myself of when I fall into this pity trap.

I hear judgments from others all the time and sometimes I get defensive, I am human, but when I reflect I think, I’m living my life for me, no one else. They don’t have to live my life, and I don’t want to live their life. So best do what makes me happy. And fuck the rest.

Also, I’m judgmental. I know what kind of life I want to live and it’s not what I see from other people. So I can’t get too upset when others have their own standards, as well.

Okay, but I digress. Let me get back to the show.

Two out of the three drag queens on the show identify as non-binary. This is a choice, a feeling, and not something that is based on fact, or biology. So why do they do this?

Well, I think it’s partly due to the advancement of gay rights in North America. The fights in the 80s and the 90s have been largely won. But many ‘community gays’ as I call them, take satisfaction and comfort in being victims, so they think, let’s throw this non-binary thing into the mix and become resentful when others call it out for what it is: nonsense.

The great American divide is between rural and urban voters, especially as it pertains to social issues.

Most leftists believe that people in rural settings are morons. They think that somehow that means you’re uncouth. It’s a condescending, patronizing and smug view to hold.

At the beginning of each episode of We’re Here the producers try to paint the townsfolk as ignorant and homophobic by showing them staring at the queens. I don’t think this makes them homophobic, rather they’re not used to seeing grown men dressed in exaggerated makeup and costumes.

I mean Eureka (one of the drag queens) alone, out of drag, is not only morbidly obese, but has augmented, fake looking, glossed lips and painted eyebrows with pink hair. Most rural folk don’t see that sort of thing all the time, so naturally they’ll stare. It doesn’t make them bad people.

Another drag performer on the show, Bob, out of drag, wears dresses, earrings, paints his nails & carries a purse.

I’d stare too!

Most Americans don’t live in urban centres where this is common, and therefore are not desensitized to it.

I remember once in my early 20s I wore pink to cottage country, in this really small town called Coboconk, Ontario & the locals stared! I thought they were homophobes, but soon understood they’re more muted, so if you’re a man, you’ll stand out in pink, or makeup, or nail polish!

It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t wear pink again, it means that if I do, and people stare at me, it’s not because they’re homophobic. Too many people on the left, and I’ve learned this over the course of many years observing their collective behaviour, have a really bleak view on humanity and the intentions and thoughts of those they don’t know.

It’s been my view, when I stopped seeing the world like them, that people are mostly kind, generous and open minded. And if they’re not, okay, bye — talk to you never!

Personally, I’m a bit dismissive of people who think that their outward appearance somehow expresses to others that they’re interesting, original, or unique. I often find they’re not and the clothes, piercings, tattoos and hair compensate for a lack of personality.

For me a person is unique by how they think, how they treat others, or what their talents are.

During last week’s episode of We’re Here the queens found themselves in Salem.

During a chat with some of the African-American women who lived through the civil rights era and MLK’s assassination, Bob the Drag Queen broke down, sobbing.

I appreciate the sentiment but I did have to roll my eyes. I think it’s important to remember the past and to acknowledge the hard won fights of those who were marginalized during those times. But, to me, gays are somewhat addicted to this victim narrative.

Bob, despite the horrors of slavery and segregation, is literally living his dream. As a black queer man, he is able to earn a fine living expressing himself through his chosen art, and no one begrudges him for it. In fact, we celebrate it!

I wish gays in North America would take more time to appreciate the tremendous progress that has been made in the United States. It’s not perfect, I’m not saying that, but Bob could at least admit that guess what, my life is pretty fucking good. I’m doing exactly what it is I want to do and being handsomely rewarded for it.

Gays need to give up this victim narrative. They really do. But they get rewarded for clinging on to it. They’re living the lives they want and yet somehow are attempting to convince themselves and others that a ‘system’ is keeping them back.

My friend wrote to me with: “I recall seeing footage of Bob interviewing Angela Davis in 2020 with another drag queen. Who knows what will be left standing if her and her progeny’s vision of revolution comes to pass? Based on history I don’t think there will be drag queens or “civil rights” post-revolution. Bob The Drag Queen couldn’t have had the career or opportunities he has now in any other time or place. He has capitalism and western culture to thank for that.”


Gays in North America are so caught up on being victims and fighting against a system that has allowed them to thrive that they don’t stop and think about what it is they’re doing. Or saying. Or thinking.

If they saw the light they’d lose their livelihoods, because their social circles frown on anyone ever seeing the light.

Keep playing the victim, at all costs. Make it part of your brand. Don’t let go of the past, Hold tight to your resentments and grievances.

This is why I can’t be part of the ‘gay community’. It’s hostile to any gay who won’t play their game.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s