Climbing out of hell

For months now I’ve been having a recurring dream. Last night, I had this dream again, but I think I cracked the code. It would therefore be interesting to note if I ever have it again.

The dream usually begins with me climbing a never-ending series of steps; I’m at an historic concert venue, but there is infinite seating and I’m trying to get to my seat.

In my dream there is always an elderly woman in front of me, who is also struggling to climb these steps. Eventually during the dream, I become the elderly woman, and now there are more people around her. There’s always an influential statesman who represents the gentleman, and she asks him for help to which he agrees. He stands behind her and provides her with a little lift on each step, until she reaches what appears to be the half-way point.

She stops to rest, the people around her celebrate this achievement, become emotional; the man, exhausted, exclaims that she did it, while another woman talks about how much weight she’s lost.

The woman is me.

When I woke too-early this morning I finally understood what the dream meant. I apologize in advance if this seems heavy-handed or too self-indulgent, but the dream is a metaphor about how much I had to endure and how much of the muck I had to climb out of from the hell of my childhood, and the man represents all the generous people who helped me along the way. The woman who references how much weight I lost is not talking about my body, but about the baggage I’ve shed.

There were some tears when I came to this realization, and I have to admit, it took me a little while to fall back asleep. But I think perhaps I’ve cracked the code on why I keep having this dream, perhaps it’s my subconscious telling me to let go of all that resentment, and all that fear and cynicism I may still harbor about my fellow humans and it’s encouraging me to realize that though I did improve my life on my own, I was assisted by well-meaning, good individuals.

Has anything similar happened to any of you? Have you ever had a recurring dream and then one day, you figured out what it meant? I’d be happy to hear from you in the comments section if you have.

Thanks for reading.

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