Where have all the men gone?

One of the questionable socially acceptable trends within the gay community lately is grown men dressing up in cosplay.

You can peruse countless social media profiles of adult gay men dressed up as Marvel superhero characters, or whose only interests appear to be comic books and the like. They pose for and post pictures of themselves wearing their new costumes or t-shirts. And they’re strangely proud of it.

It’s a worrisome phenomenon, and I’d forgive it if it came from young men in their early 20s but these men are in their late 20s, their 30s and in some tragic cases, their 40s.

I’ve been to a few apartments in the city of Toronto owned by gay men whose walls are decorated with X-Men movie posters, and whose shelves are littered with Star Wars action figures. This is considered art to them. What’s even more appalling to me is some of these men have respectable, well-paying jobs.

When I compare North American gay men’s social media profiles with those from say Italy, or South America, there is a noticeable contrast. Men from these more culturally rich countries are posting about literature, architecture, art, home décor, landscapes, travel. Sure there are some selfies here and there, but the majority of their posts are not only age-appropriate but intellectually age-appropriate. They’re more sophisticated, cultured and intelligent, without boasting about it.

What is going on with adults in North America? They’re infantile, childish, juvenile, vapid, vacuous, vacant. They take no responsibility for how their lives have turned out. I go to a lot of bars in this city where staff have extended their adolescence well passed what’s appropriate. They get drunk and high every night, sleep with random people, live in a constant state of drama, gossip and rumor spreading, focus unnecessarily on the perceived problems of others rather than focusing on their own, etc. Many of them will tell me, “Well I’m young, I can still do this.” But they’re not young, they’re in their late 20s, even their 40s without any life savings or a pot to piss in. They are adults behaving like kids. It’s all instant gratification, without any long-term vision about their future and then when they get to an age where they tragically still have nothing they blame ‘the system’ or ‘society.’ No, it’s them. And then they wonder why they can’t find a life partner. No one of quality or substance is going to want that, so they’re always stuck with the bottom of the barrel.

Instead of actually building a personality or character, they think what’s interesting about them is their hair-style, their hair color, their endless inane tattoos, their dress, etc. None of these make up for a lack of character, but they think it makes them who they are, they think it’s their identity. Sorry, but no. Once you get a skull or face tattoo, let me say, you may think you’re cool, you may think you’re edgy, you may think you’re original and unique, but in fact you’re limiting your advancement in society. It may seem cool now, but you’re restricting your life in ways you’re clearly ignorant about.

But I digress. I’m not sure what’s going on with gay men in North America, why their adolescence has been extended well into middle-age. We are living in the most socially progressive time in the history of Western civilization but these men are choosing to latch on to their childhoods, forever.

I feel bad for any gay man of substance who is single and trying to find a partner in this city. Many, although pretty, have nothing to contribute to a conversation other than to talk endlessly about themselves and their mediocre accomplishments. They have nothing between their ears. I’ve also noticed how they lack any curiosity about others, just a shallow obsession with themselves, and only themselves. I’m sorry, but I don’t find any conversation about your beard, or your mustache, or your dates interesting. It’s all so self-indulgent. They may attract men like themselves, but they will never attract a man of substance because someone like that can see through their inanity.

I remember sitting at a bar a couple of years ago and a young gay man was sitting next to me explaining that he was returning from a date. “Was he nice?” I asked.

“He was hot,” is how the man, and I must stress the word MAN, replied.

I tried to delve deeper, “But what was he like?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he retorted gleefully. “He was hot.” Okay then. I stopped talking to him. He showed me in that brief exchange exactly who he was.

A grown man dressing up as Captain America or Spiderman is displaying to me that he has little intellectual capacity, interests or age-appropriate hobbies. It’s not something we should celebrate. We should not applaud adult males who cannot grow up and behave like men. But I’d like to really know how and why so many are now like this. What have we done?

I’ve written a lot about the weakening of our Western society by liberals. About how strangely prevalent adult coloring books are now, about adult men spending eight hours a day playing video games, acting like children. When I meet these individuals they are usually really unhappy, incapable of coping with the daily challenges life presents. They blame anxiety as a reason to vacate their occupational responsibilities. And then there are those who defend this. Who make excuses for this type of adolescent behavior. Perhaps this doesn’t exist in Canada’s rural areas as much as it does in its urban centres? That is a possibility.

A lot of happiness and personal satisfaction in my life has come from persevering. From being able to overcome obstacles, not avoiding them because they are too hard. But that’s not what we have now. We’re leaving the future of our civilization in the hands of those who have no conviction, no fortitude, no ability to problem solve, or to persevere. They wilt under the simplest of pressures. I’m afraid about what the future may hold.

Where have all the men gone?

2 thoughts on “Where have all the men gone?

    1. Good morning and thank you for your comment. I agree it is not only gay men, but as a gay man, I can’t help but notice how infantilized gay culture has become. I’m shocked that gay men have literally no culture, and are proud of their singular interests in things like video games, comic books, Marvel characters. It’s so odd. Thanks for agreeing. And yes, it is really, really sad.

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